its Christmas time again and it sucks . Just to make things worse things aren’t happy at home . I made a mistake awhile back but I can’t seem to be forgiven . I don’t know how to fix things , to be honest I’m not in the mood . If I can’t be forgiven then whats the point of continuing our relationship? I suppose readers are wondering what mistake I made but I’m not going to go into it except to say I was wrong but I didn’t think it was this bad . She has taken all my pills away but there are other ways to die it’s just whether I really want to go down that track .
I’ve often thought of Jimmy at the end of the movie Quadrophenia and ride my scooter off the edge of a cliff except in the movie he jumps off just before the scooter goes over . That would be a good way to go , quick and easy . I think I even know a part of a cliff that is high enough with rocks and the ocean down below . It’s in my head , its in my head but I’m not sure if I am ready . I have a couple online friends who would probably wonder what happened to me because I doubt my wife would go online to tell anyone . I can’t really say if I kill myself go online and tell these two girls …… that wouldn’t go over too well .
I came on here to try to write some poetry but I’m too upset now . How funny would it be to kill myself on Christmas Day , I guess not very funny for everyone else.